Shower Curtains to make Bath Time less than Fun
So, you’ve been sensing for some time that the one thing your bathroom decor lacks is a strangely disturbing shower curtain?
You’re my kind of home decorator, my slightly warped friend.
Weird and creepy bathroom accessories aren’t for everyone – the faint of heart, or those prone to nightmares need not apply – but for the horror flick or true crime afficionado, a boring old decorative shower curtain is simply not going to cut it.
No, what today’s smart bathroom really needs is a Blood Bath Shower Curtain tastefully decorated with a motif of blood-red handprints, to suggest all sorts of nasty goings-on behind its folds. (Just try to carry out your morning ablutions in meditative peace, with a victim of violence getting his gory red handprints all over your shower curtain!)
Or perhaps a menacing shadow of Something Evil, just lurking, watching you, biding its time.
Or perhaps an image even more disturbing, in the subtle suggestion of Something Not Quite Right with the “smallest room” where you spend so much time alone.
Who are these people?
… and what are they looking at in my bathroom?
At first glance, this is just a pleasant novelty curtain with a charming retro scene of the Eiffel Tower, featuring a well-dressed couple of tourists from a by-gone era.
On a closer look, see those strange stiff faces with inhuman expressions. Are they aliens in human guise, passing among us unnoticed while they await the arrival of the mothership? They aren’t fooling anyone with the pointing at the scenery – hey, the Eiffel Tower is behind you, alien invader scum!
Please note: A disturbing shower curtain with this vintage image is not recommended for bathrooms where the toilet is located to the right hand side of the tub. (Think about it for a minute.) That would make the pointing finger and fixed stares of these characters even more disturbing, and just a tad sick.
The shower curtain did it!
When is yellow not a cheerful, happy color? When it’s that yellow warning tape to keep innocent bystanders away from the horrible sight of a (bathtub) crime scene…
For best effect, keep the curtain closed and let your imagination fill in the picture of what might lie behind it, in the hidden recesses of the bathing area.
You could probably make your own DIY version of the crime scene shower curtain, with a roll of yellow caution tape and a plain vinyl liner, but I’d be concerned that might be just a bit too realistic. Just a bit too disturbing…
4 Reasons to Get a Disturbing Shower Curtain
Better Living through Weird Creepy Bathroom Decor
I can think of at least 4 excellent reasons:
- Water conservation, for a start. After all, if your shower curtain is creeping you out, you’re not going to hang around taking a long shower, are you? A superb choice for anyone with teenagers or selfish bathroom-hogging roommates.
- By the same token, bathroom hogs are less likely to linger, leaving you dancing in bladder-filled agony at the locked door, if they’re sharing the loo with a truly disturbing shower curtain.
- And then there’s the party factor. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a party where conversation lags! Well, sooner or later, one of your guests is bound to hear the call of nature and excuse themselves to visit the bathroom.They’ll wander in all innocently, flick on the light, and jump out of their skin when they spot your shower curtain. Instant topic of conversation!
- One more reason, though it’s one we hardly like to mention in polite company… that shameful ring around the bathtub. Hang a disturbing shower curtain across your tub, and no one’s even going to notice the tell-tale line of soap scum that you didn’t get around to scrubbing off. The shock! The horror! It will all be directed at your decor, not your bathroom hygiene.
You may very well have a few unsettling reasons of your own for why you’d want to invest in such a shower curtain, but perhaps that is best kept confidential – just between you and your rubber ducky, eh?
Speaking of which…
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the shower…
Nothing can be more profoundly disturbing, than the shocking third-reel revelation that our childhood friend – the cute and hitherto harmless Rubber Ducky – is in fact Evil Incarnate. It’s a horror the like of which even Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen King could never have dreamed…
Will you embrace the Disturbing Shower Curtain, or just settle for a quick sponge bath from now on?