Funny Pickle Gifts

Silly Pickle Presents

If you really love pickles, you’ve come to the right place.

Yodeling pickles, pickle lip balm, pickle mints, bandaids, even ornaments – all in one handy page. It’s the perfect way to satisfy your pickle craving. There are even some real, crunchy pickles.

Plus, a true story about pregnant women and pickles.

 Gifts for Grownups

Pickle Lip Balm

pickle lip balm

Pickle lip balm

This tastes just like a dill pickle, but it’s much easier to carry around than a real pickle would be. And, unlike an actual pickle, it won’t leak all over your clothes. Besides, why use a dull, ordinary flavor like mint or cherry when you can have pickle instead?

Pickle Mints

pickle mintsPickle mints

This would be just perfect with “pastrami-flavored” cough drops (should such a thing ever be invented). Or, what would be even better, as one reviewer suggested, “a diet aid along with hamburger seltzer and french fry flavored rice cakes.” Sounds like the best diet plan ever!

Pickle Pen

pickle pen

Pickle pen

Will this make you a better writer? Who knows? Either way, your words will seem much tastier. Just don’t absentmindedly snack on the pen (ink is low in nutrients). And, if someone comes by and takes it at work, you’ll know instantly that it’s yours!

Pickle Flavored Sunflower Seeds

pickle sunflower seeds

Sunflower seeds with pickle flavor!

Reviewers on Amazon say they’re addicting, and they can’t get enough of them. Resistance is futile!

Pickle Ornaments

  Charming, hand-blown pickle ornaments

These will look lovely in your home. It’s an old German custom that every Christmas tree has a pickle hiding inside. Whoever finds the pickle gets a special surprise gift.

Pickle Picker

  pickle picker  Pickle picker

This  is a really handy gadget  to have in your kitchen.  It makes retrieving pickles much easier. It’s also good for getting those stuffed olives out of the jar, without wanting to smash it against your counter.  With the pickle picker, you can get pickles (or olives) out of those skinny jars without getting your hands all smelly and cold.

Gifts for Everyone

Yodeling Pickle

yodeling pickle

Yodeling pickle

Who could resist this? It sings, it fills all your entertainment needs, and it’s much cheaper than an ipod. I’m not sure which is funnier, the product or the reviews.

For example, jojo said:

Great for telemarketing calls. We had been getting so many recently; they would never leave a message, but would continue to call and call. We now use the yodeling pickle when we get one of these calls , and they never call back.

And Jenny Lynneon said,

My twelve year-old niece asked for the Justin Bieber CD for Christmas, so I bought her this yodeling pickle. Nobody so far can tell the difference.

Here’s a video of the pickle in action.

 Real Pickles!

pickle pouch
Pickles in a pouch

What pickle page would be complete without some real pickles you can eat? This pack of pickles comes in a portable pouch that you can slip in your lunch bag or your purse without worrying about making a mess (nobody wants a pickle-flavored purse).  And, they don’t even need refrigeration.

 Pregnant Women and Pickles

making pickles

Image thanks to LoriQoPB on Flickr cc nd 2.0

An absolutely true story about pregnant women and pickles.

We’ve all heard the jokes about pregnant woman craving pickles and ice cream. I’m here to tell you it’s true.

About 20 years ago (yikes!), I was out with a friend, her husband, and her son in a small seaport town near her house. There’s a great ice cream shop there, and we decided to get some for lunch.  Because, as I explained to her, our mothers weren’t there, so we could do whatever we wanted.  Although, come to think of it, I think my mom would have gone for it. She loves ice cream!

Ice Cream and Pickles

We ordered ice cream for ourselves, plus a grilled cheese sandwich for her son. The sandwich came with a pickle. Her son wasn’t much of an eater, so he only ate half the sandwich, and left the pickle on his plate.

As we were chatting, I noticed that my friend was absentmindedly eating the pickle with one hand and the ice cream with the other.

Go to the Drugstore

She’d been complaining earlier that she felt tired and lethargic. I put two and two together, looked at her and said, “Is there something you want to tell us?”

She looked down, looked at her hands, turned to her husband, and said, “Go to the drugstore.”  You’ll notice that she didn’t say for what, just that he should go. He looked back, a bit blank for a second or two, but then the light dawned.  So, he went to the drugstore, got the pregnancy test, and sure enough… she was pregnant!

It seems baby does want pickles!

Gifts for Kids

 Pickle Band aids

pickle bandaids Pickle bandages

Turn your child’s cries into smiles with these clever bandages. Cutting your finger isn’t much fun, but covering the scrape with a pickle bandage is lots of fun! You’ll grin every time you look at it.

The description on Amazon is, unfortunately, a bit confusing, but here’s the skinny on what’s included. Each package comes with 15 pickle bandage and there are two boxes in each order.  So, you get 30 bandages all together. Ibonus rubber “terrified” pickle.

Pickle Books

 stop that pickle Stop that Pickle!

But the pickle himself has other ideas. He doesn’t want to be eaten! He runs out of the store and tries to get away from the woman who wants to eat him.  The other foods in the store try to help the owner and chase after him. But, will he escape? Or, will he end up as part of her lunch?

 frankie the pickle The Adventures of Frankie Pickle

One of a series of books about Frankie Pickle (what a great name). In this adventure, he’s in a soapbox derby, trying to get that last point he needs to earn a scout badge. The great thing about these books is that they are fun for both adults and kids (kind of like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons).  The plots and the words have twists and turns that take you places you don’t expect to go. 

Which pickle gift do you like the best?  Do you own any of them?

Author

I love to cook (and eat). Luckily, I live in New York City, where there's lots of wonderful food. My cat, Paris, thinks it's all for him!

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